


Without a Trace

by unreasonablestarkstan



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Near Death Experiences, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-05-18 17:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19339333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unreasonablestarkstan/pseuds/unreasonablestarkstan
Summary: Tony Stark goes missing, and Steve Rogers will do whatever it takes to get his boyfriend back. The only problem is, sometimes whatever it takes isn't enough.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning this to be a ~5 chapter story, updating weekly. Feel free to harass me if I forget to update.

It was a normal day. Steve had left the apartment early in the morning, while his boyfriend was still sleeping. He had grumbled quietly to himself when he realized there was no milk left in the fridge and had to drink his coffee black. That stupid cup of coffee had left him distracted enough that he forgot to kiss Tony goodbye like he usually did before he left. But it didn’t really matter, right? Because it was just a normal day. 

He wasn’t even going out on a mission that day. It was just another day of prep work with some mid-level agents at SHIELD headquarters. They were planning a sting on a newly discovered HYDRA base in Canada and every step had to be meticulously thought out. But sitting in an office all day for the past few weeks had made him irritable as hell, which was probably why he had gotten so grumpy over a stupid cup of coffee.

Tony was supposed to be working in his lab all day, trying to fix some problem with his helmet that was far too scientific for Steve to understand. He probably would have stayed in the lab all day if Steve hadn’t texted him and told him to go buy some milk. Of course, Tony Stark was not usually the type of person to go out and buy his own milk. He had people the world over for that kind of thing. But it was a reason to be outside and take a break from his project, even if it was only for the few minutes it took to walk to the shop at the end of the block. Steve wanted him to get outside more, he always thought being cooped up in the lab all the time was bad for him.

When Steve returned home that evening, he paused when he saw that the door to the penthouse had been left open just a crack. _Weird. Tony’s always so paranoid about keeping it locked._ He walked in, expecting to see his boyfriend on the couch or in the study.

“Tony, I’m home,” he called out when he didn’t see him anywhere. “You here, babe?”

Nothing.

 _Must still be in the lab_ , Steve thought. But Tony wouldn’t leave the door to the apartment open if he was down in his lab, right? “Tony?” He called out again, still no response.

Then Steve walked into the kitchen, and he could have sworn his heart stopped dead in his chest. The fridge was wide open. A carton of milk was on the floor, spilled all over the tiles. And there was blood splattered on the countertop.

Steve’s head was spinning. He tried calling Tony’s cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. He bent down and discovered that milk on the floor was still cold. And the blood on the counter was still warm.

A thousand possibilities were flashing through his mind. He saw a faceless man slamming Tony’s head against the counter. Punching him square in the jaw. Body slamming him to the ground. Stabbing a knife into his side. Putting a bullet in his brain...

 _No._ Steve snapped himself back to reality. Tony couldn’t have been shot, there wasn’t nearly enough blood for that. Besides, standing there freaking out was obviously not going to help anything. He closed his eyes and took a few concentrated breaths, trying to focus. The milk was still cold, so whatever happened couldn’t have been too long ago. If someone kidnapped Tony, they couldn’t have gotten far. He just needed to stop wasting time.

Natasha was still at the SHIELD office, but she wasn’t answering her goddamn cell phone. Steve thought he might lose it if she didn’t pick up, but she finally answered on the last ring.

“Hey, Steve. What’s —“ Steve cut her off before she could finish.

“Tony’s gone,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Gone? What do you mean _gone_ _?_ ”

“He wasn’t here when I came home, his phone is either dead or broken, and there’s blood all over the counter. Something happened to him, Nat. Someone must have taken him.”

Steve heard Natasha take a short breath on the other end of the line. If anyone could compartmentalize feelings and focus on the task at hand, it was her.

“Then we’re just going to have to find him,” she replied, her voice flat. “I’ll send some agents to your apartment and put together a search team here. Whoever took him won’t know what hit them.”

“I want every agent available working on this. We have to find him now, Nat.”

“We’ll find him, and he’ll be okay,” Natasha said, sounding much more calm and confident than Steve. “I promise.”

Within minutes, a small group of SHIELD agents were scanning the apartment, looking for clues. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to go on. All of the home security cameras (and there were a lot of them, as Tony had always insisted) were just showing static for the entire afternoon’s recordings. Which meant that whoever did this must have been planning it out long enough to figure out how to disable Tony Stark’s high tech security cameras.

The whole process was going far too slow for Steve’s liking. Tony was out there somewhere, probably injured, possibly _dying_ , and all of these people were just standing around his apartment, staring at spilled milk and getting absolutely nowhere with the security footage. It was driving him crazy, especially because he knew there was nothing _he_ could do if he didn’t have any idea where Tony was. He was feeling more and more helpless by the second, and more and more worried about his boyfriend. The one thing he couldn’t stop thinking about was the stupid milk. It was still cold when he got home, which meant that if he had just arrived a little earlier he could have stopped all this from happening. Tony would be safe and he could forgive himself for not kissing him goodbye in the morning.

A young SHIELD agent tapped Steve on the shoulder and pulled him out of his trance. “Um, Captain, sir? We’ve just analyzed the blood from the counter and we can confirm that it was Mr. Stark’s,” he said nervously.

Steve nodded and turned away from the agent. The information shouldn’t have been surprising. He had assumed it was Tony’s since he had first seen it, but some small part of him had been hoping that the blood belonged to the assailant. That Tony had been able to fight back. Not for the first time that day, he wanted to scream.

 

***to be continued***


	2. Chapter 2

It had been three days since Tony disappeared, and they had made next to no progress in tracking him down. There was no security camera footage, no fingerprints, no DNA, no clues whatsoever that could lead them to Tony’s location. It was like he had just vanished out of thin air. 

 

Steve had hardly slept those three days, just a couple of hours here and there. He didn’t want to waste any time sleeping that he could be spending looking for Tony, and every time he tried to lay down and close his eyes he couldn’t stop the mental onslaught of imagining his boyfriend in various horrific situations. The few times he did sleep it was always on the couch, never the bed. He just couldn’t bring himself to lay alone on the too big, empty bed, next to the open space where Tony should be sleeping. 

 

Natasha was doing her best to get Steve to take care of himself. She had brought him food every day, even when he said he didn’t want it. She never got mad when Steve snapped at her, which happened far more often than he wanted to admit. She always answered the phone when he called in the middle of the night. And she always looked at him with concern rather than pity, unlike so many SHIELD agents. Steve knew he was a mess, but he didn’t want to imagine how much worse off he would be if he didn’t have Nat. 

 

Everyone was doing whatever they could, really. Finding Tony Stark was one of the few things that could bring so many people together. Clint was scouting the entire city, Bruce was scanning for unusual energy signatures, and a few dozen SHIELD agents were combing through hours and hours of security footage from nearby buildings. But going 3 days without making any real progress wasn’t great for morale. 

 

“I just wish there was something we could latch onto. Some kind of clue,” Steve said as he sat down across from Natasha in her office, practically collapsing in the chair.

 

“I know. Trust me, it’s making me want to tear my hair out too,” she replied, exasperated.

 

“I don’t get it. Who kidnaps someone and then drops off the face of the Earth? Shouldn’t they be demanding a ransom or something? You don’t kidnap a billionaire superhero if you don’t want anything.”

 

“You’re right. That’s been bothering me too.”

 

“I’d give anything to get him back,” Steve said, sounding defeated. “But they aren’t even asking.”

 

Natasha reached over and gently squeezed his hand. “We’re going to get him back, Steve.”

 

“You keep saying that,” Steve replied with a hint of bitterness rising in his voice, “But we’re no closer to finding him than we were three days ago.”

 

“Steve...”

 

“We have how many agents working on this now?” Steve interrupted, “25? And no one can find a single second of useful security footage?” He was getting angry now and he hated that, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “Tony is out there somewhere and we’re all sitting around like a bunch of useless idiots staring at computer screens!”

 

“Steve, everyone is doing the best that they can. Including you,” Natasha said softly.

 

Steve scoffed at the statement. “Including me? I’m useless here. Completely useless. Give me a location and I know I could fight my way to him and get him out. But finding him? All of the tech we’re using is way beyond me and you know that.” 

 

There it was. That’s why he was angry. Not because the team was struggling to make progress, but because he knew that he couldn’t really help. What good was he if he couldn’t even contribute? He was supposed to be Captain freaking America, and yet there was nothing he could do when the love of his life was in danger. He wasn’t mad at anyone besides himself.

 

“Listen, Steve,” Natasha started before she was interrupted by a SHIELD agent frantically banging on the door. 

 

“Come in, Larson,” she called.

 

A tall skinny agent walked through the door, holding a laptop in one hand. He looked about ready to burst. 

 

“I really hate to interrupt, but I think I’ve just found something,” Agent Larson said, his hands trembling.

 

Steve stood up, adrenaline suddenly rushing through his body. “Spit it out, Larson.” 

 

“I ran some more tests on the blood we found at your apartment, sir,” Larson said, “and it looks like we missed something. The blood _is_ Mr. Stark’s...for the most part. But I discovered a few drops of an unusual toxin mixed in with his blood. It’s nearly impossible to detect before it reacts to oxygen for long enough, which is why we didn’t see it before.”

 

Steve had crossed the room and was standing inches away from the somewhat terrified agent. His blood was pumping so hard and fast in his veins, he could hear his own heartbeat in his head. “Keep talking,” he said, his voice low and gruff.

 

“Well, sir, there’s a Hydra agent by the name of Landon Relix who’s been known to use that very same toxin on his enemies in the past.”

 

“That’s the guy who’s in charge of the Canadian Hydra base we were going to raid before Tony disappeared!” Steve said, excited to finally have a name to latch onto. Someone besides himself to direct his anger at. 

 

“Yes, sir,” Agent Larson said, still looking nervous and fidgety.

 

“Romanoff, pack up. We’re going to Quebec,” Steve said, turning away from Larson. 

 

Before Natasha could respond, Larson spoke again. “Sir. Relix usually uses this toxin as a combination knock out and memory wipe. But he’s also used it to kill before. All it takes is a high enough dose.” 

 

The room was silent for a moment. Larson’s statement hung in the air like a bad odor.

 

“How much was in his blood?” Steve asked quietly, still turned away and staring at the floor. 

 

“It’s difficult to calculate the exact amount that was actually in his bloodstream, sir. It depends on how long it was between —“ 

 

Steve cut him off. “Answer the question, Larson.”

 

“The amount in the sample we have was .005 % higher than the average lethal dose for a man his size.”

 

_ To be continued _


	3. Chapter 3

Steve sat quietly in the Quinjet as the small team made their way to the Canadian Hydra base. He had been feeling sick to his stomach ever since Agent Larson had informed them about the toxin a few hours earlier. It felt like a punch to the gut every time an image of Tony, dead from the poison, crossed his mind. All of their efforts to locate him plus the mission to save him could be useless if Tony had been killed before Steve even knew he was missing. The thought of it made him want to break something. But Steve had to believe that Tony was still alive. He simply couldn’t go on if he didn’t force away any thought that Tony could be dead. Besides, Tony always said that he loved Steve’s persistent optimism, and he wasn’t about to let that go anytime soon.

 

_Tony is alive. Tony is alive. Tony is alive._

 

He repeated the words to himself over and over, an unending mantra in his mind. If anyone could take a deadly dose of a specialized Hydra toxin and survive to tell the tale, it was Tony Stark. After all, he had lived for years with poison embedded in his chest. The man was resilient if nothing else. And Steve believed in him until the end of the earth. Tony would fight to stay alive no matter what, and that was enough for Steve to convince himself that he wasn’t going to find a dead body when they reached the Hydra base.

 

The mission itself was simple. Steve wasn’t about to try anything fancy when Tony’s life was on the line. Steve and Natasha would enter the base from opposite ends, as Clint discretely took out the guards from a perch high in the trees. A small team of backup agents would be hidden amongst the trees in case anything went wrong. Then Steve and Natasha would search the inside for Tony room by room, starting from the basement.

 

Of course, everyone was acutely aware of the fact that this whole thing could be a trap. But if they had to walk into a trap to find Tony, then that’s exactly what they were going to do. Steve was confident that he could fight his way out of any trouble with the thought of saving Tony as motivation. Once he found him, he would waste no time getting the hell out of there. The base could be taken down later. Right now, all that mattered was keeping Tony safe.

 

Steve took a deep breath as the helicopter started to slow down. It was almost time, and he had to be ready. Tony’s life was on the line, so there was no room for error. He closed his eyes to center himself. If he was going to do this, and do it right, he had to turn off Steve Rogers and switch on Captain America.

 

“Romanoff. Barton. No mistakes,” he said, stone faced and gravely serious.

 

“No mistakes,” Natasha agreed. Clint just nodded, but Steve knew he could count on him.

 

With that, the three avengers dropped out of the helicopter and parachuted down to their respective targets. Steve had his eye on the guard he was supposed to get past before he even hit the ground. He wasted no time, running full speed at the startled man. But before the guard had any time to react, an arrow came shooting out of the sky and planted itself firmly between his eyes. He collapsed in front of Steve without a word.

 

Steve heaved the man up to the retina scanner to gain access to the building. He wasn’t expecting the guard standing five feet down the hallway, but the Hydra Agent was no match for Captain America. He took him down with a swift kick to the back of his knees and planted a foot on his chest.

 

“Where is Tony Stark?” He said, pressing his weight down against the guard.

 

“I’m just a guard...” the man wheezed, hardly able to breathe, “don’t...know...anything.”

 

“Where. Is. Tony. _Stark_.” Steve pushed his foot harder against the guard’s chest, determined to break him either physically or mentally. He heard the sickening sound of ribs cracking.

 

The guard looked right at Steve, a disgusting smile on his face. “Hail Hydra.”

 

That was enough. Steve bent down and snapped his neck like a twig. He was not in the mood to be played around with. He’d find Tony with or without this Nazi scum’s help.

 

Steve charged on and ran down the stairs to the basement, where he easily took down another two guards. It was going to take a lot more than a couple Hydra soldiers to overcome a pissed off Captain America.

 

He started kicking down doors, finding supply room after supply room and growing increasingly more frustrated as there were no signs of Tony. When he came to the last door in the hall he closed his eyes before he kicked it down, praying that he would find Tony alive inside.

 

The door feel open to reveal a mostly empty room. There was a chair in the corner and nothing else. No Tony. Steve’s heart sank. Tony had to be here, he just _had_  to. But just as he was about to turn around and go upstairs, a dark jacket hanging on the back of the chair caught his eye. It looked familiar.Tony had a jacket just like that.

 

Steve ran across the room, picked up the jacket, and looked through the pockets for anything that could confirm it was Tony’s. With surprisingly steady hands, he pulled a photograph out of the breast pocket. Sure enough, it was Tony’s favorite photo of the two of them. They were smiling like idiots at each other, a plate of waffles between them and a dollop of whipped cream on Steve’s nose. He wanted to scream when he saw the drops of dried blood staining the photograph.

 

Clutching the jacket firmly in one hand and the photograph in the other, Steve ran back upstairs. Tony had to be somewhere, and he was going to find him no matter what it took. When he opened the door, the first thing he saw was Natasha standing over a pile of unconscious Hydra agents.

 

“Nat! I found Tony’s jacket. He has to be here, we have to find him!” Steve was starting to sound frantic.

 

Natasha looked sadly at the jacket in Steve’s hand, his knuckles white from how hard he was gripping onto it. “Steve,” she said gently, “I don’t think he’s here. Not anymore, at least. You searched the basement and I searched up here. They must have moved him somewhere else.”

 

“No. He’s here, Nat. He _has_ to be.” Steve was desperate at this point.

 

“I sent in three of our agents for another pass. If they don’t find him either, we’ll have to start looking for another lead.”Natasha was firm and calm, everything Steve couldn’t be in the moment.

 

Steve shook his head and ran down the hallway, kicking down doors that were already unlocked and frantically searching every room and closet multiple times, even though he knew Natasha had already looked. It was futile and stupid, but he wasn’t going to leave the base without Tony.

 

He reached his breaking point when he opened the same closet for the 15th time and thought he saw something, but it turned out to just be a shadow. That brief flicker of hope, which was taken away so quickly, caused Steve to scream and punch the wall. Natasha took this as her cue to gently grab Steve’s arm and lead him back out to the Quinjet.

 

Steve couldn’t talk to anyone when he finally got on the plane, and luckily everyone decided to leave him alone. He slid down the wall and sat on the cold floor, his face buried in Tony’s jacket. It still smelled like him, despite the dirt and the blood.

 

  _To be continued_

\---


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that I was late updating! Hope you enjoy.

47 days. 47 days since Steve had last seen the love of his life, and he never even kissed him goodbye. Those 47 days felt more like a lifetime going by at a snail’s pace as the guilt and longing and rage were all eating him alive. Most of all, it was he not knowing that was killing him. Not knowing where the hell Tony was, or what was happening to him, or _why_ he had been taken in the first place. He hated the way his brain never stopped speculating, always jumping to the worst possible scenario. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Tony, tortured or beaten or strangled or --

He always managed to stop himself before he got to _dead_. Like some kind of primal defense mechanism against going insane, his brain wouldn’t let him even imagine it. It was probably for the best. He was barely keeping himself together as it was, and visions of Tony Stark’s dead body certainly wouldn’t help with his mental state.

In the weeks since the failed rescue mission, Steve had grown more and more distant from his fellow Avengers. He would see them at HQ when searching for seemingly nonexistent clues, but rarely answered their calls or accepted their invitations to spend time together. He knew he should be relying on them for support, but most of the time he just wanted to be alone. They didn’t deserve to have to see him so broken and pathetic.

The lack of clues to Tony’s whereabouts weren’t helping lift Steve’s spirits either. Virtually no progress had been made since they returned from the Canadian Hydra base so long ago. They were back to square one, and every lead was just sending them in circles. It was absolutely infuriating. All of the Hydra agents they suspected were involved seemed to have completely dropped off the grid since the raid, leaving them with nowhere to go and no one to question.

Steve couldn’t help but feel excruciatingly guilty about that lack of progress. He just knew that if it was the other way around, if he was the one missing, Tony would have been able to find him in hours, not weeks. He was letting Tony down with every passing second. He was too late getting home that day, too late getting to the Hydra base, and too late looking for nonexistent clues. Everyday someone told him that it wasn’t his fault, but no one could convince him. He just kept obsessing over all the things he should have done differently.

It was late in the evening when Steve heard a knock at the door of his apartment. He was laying on the couch wearing one of Tony’s old sweatshirts and he really _really_ did not want to get up.

“Who is it?” Steve called out, hoping to be able to send them away without ever getting up.

“Steve? It’s Nat. Let me in,” came the familiar voice from the other side of the door.

Steve sighed and reluctantly got up to let her in. As much as he didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, he didn’t have the heart to leave Natasha standing outside his door.

“Hi Nat,” Steve said, opening the door and noting the bag of sweet smelling cookies from his favorite bakery in Natasha’s hand. No matter how bad things got, those cookies always tasted just as good. She walked in and set the bag on the counter before turning back to Steve and looking him up and down. He could tell by her eyes that she thought he looked like shit, which was probably fair.

“Come sit with me,” Natasha said, handing Steve a warm chocolate chip cookie. “I want to talk to you.”

Steve nodded and followed her to the couch, slightly dreading the inevitable personal conversation coming.

“I really wish you would answer the phone more often, Steve. We just want to check up on you.”

“I know,” Steve replied, looking away from her. He knew it was shitty of him to ignore his friends when they were only trying to help. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”

“A burden? That’s never even crossed any of our minds, I hope you know that.”

Steve nodded, not really believing her but not wanting to argue about it. “You didn’t come here just to say that.”

“You’re right. Listen, the team and I have been talking about something for a while now...” Natasha sounded incredibly delicate and deliberate, like she was walking on eggshells.

“What is it?” Steve was not in the mood for any beating around the bush.

Natasha sighed and took Steve’s hand. “We all think it’s time to accept the fact that Tony might be dead.”

Silence. Her words hung heavily in the air. Steve let go of her hand but otherwise sat completely still, stone-faced but quickly turning several shades paler.

Natasha finally broke the silence. “We want to have a funeral for him. It’s been weeks, Steve, and I think it would really --”

“Get out.” Steve cut her off mid-sentence. His voice was quiet but uncharacteristically cold.

“I knew you would be upset, but please just let me talk to you,” Natasha pleaded.

“Get. Out.”

Natasha looked like Steve had just slapped her across the face. “Come on, don’t do this.”

Blinded by pain and rage, Steve couldn’t stop himself from yelling. “Tony is not dead! He’s _not_! And I am sure as hell not giving up on him, not now, not ever. Now get the hell out of my house.”

Natasha gave him a sad, compassionate look before standing up and walking out the door. Fighting wasn’t going to be productive.

Steve had never spoken to Natasha like that before, not even once. Somewhere deep down he probably knew that she was just trying to help him, but he was too overwhelmed with emotion to access that. He had been able to suppress any thoughts of Tony being dead well enough before Nat had said it out loud, and now his mind was flashing with images of his boyfriend’s dead body. It was one of the most horrifying experiences of his life and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Somewhere deep in the woods, hundreds of miles away, Tony Stark burst through a door. He was bloody and bruised and weak, but most definitely alive. Looking to the stars for direction, he began to run.


	5. Chapter 5

Three miles away from an underground Hydra base, Tony Stark finally collapsed in the middle of a dark forest. He could hardly believe he had even made it that far, but he didn’t feel like he was any closer to finding civilization. As he laid his head against the soft dirt of the forest floor, all he wanted to do was sleep. He was so weak and so exhausted, an hour or two of sleep couldn’t hurt, right? He closed his eyes for a moment and imagined he was laying in bed, his head on Steve’s chest and their legs tangled together. His happy place. He could stay here forever. 

But the clock was ticking. Even though he had dug the tracking chip out of his arm, it wouldn’t take long for Hydra to find him once the agents he had knocked out woke up. By his best estimate, they would be out for another hour, an hour and a half if he was lucky. He had escaped by rewiring the arc reactor to emit a blast of sonic energy that would knock out anyone in a one mile radius. A rather ingenious plan, if he did say so himself. Well, ingenious except for the fact that he had completely fried his arc reactor, leaving him with only a few hours of backup power before the shrapnel made its way into his heart. 

He _had_  to keep moving, no matter how tired he was.  Nothing was worse than Hydra taking him back. They had been injecting him with the same poison twice a day for the past 47 days, upping the dosage every time. It should have killed him weeks ago. At the very least, it should have erased half the memories in his brain by now. And yet, here he was, living and breathing with his memories mostly intact. His best guess was that the rare metals in his arc reactor were acting as an antidote to the poison, keeping it from having the full effect on him. But with the dosages getting higher every day, it was only a matter of time before it killed him. Besides, he was sick and tired of being a lab rat. He had to escape.

Somehow, Tony opened his eyes and mustered up the strength to stand back up on shaking legs. His heart panged with regret as he pulled himself out of his peaceful fantasy of laying with Steve. The only thing that kept him from laying back down was the promise of seeing the real Steve again if he made it out of here alive. That was all the motivation he needed to start moving again, desperately searching for the edge of the forest. 

He knew he must have looked absolutely pathetic as he limped forward, putting as little weight as possible on his sprained ankle. There was nothing he could do besides keep moving, even at this agonizingly slow pace. Every ounce of his strength and determination was going into putting one foot in front of the other. He didn’t even notice how cold it was, the adrenaline keeping his body from wasting energy on shivering.

“Come on, Stark,” Tony grumbled to himself, “Pull yourself together. Don’t let those Nazi bastards win.” 

Tony immediately wished he would have stayed silent. Right after he finished talking, a beam from a flashlight crossed his face. The light burned his unadjusted eyes and he stumbled to the ground. _Fuck. I thought I had more time._ He started crawling away from the light in a panic, futilely trying to escape from who he assumed was a Hydra agent. He couldn’t remember the last time in his life that he was this terrified. He wasn’t even this afraid in Afghanistan. Back then he had so much less to live for. 

“Excuse me, sir?” A surprisingly soft female voice came through the trees. “Are you alright?”

Tony froze, looking up at the source of the voice in confusion. Unless he had completely gone mad from exhaustion and pain, that wasn’t a Hydra agent at all. She was wearing a park ranger uniform, not the black Hydra outfit that he was so used to by now. The woman came closer to him and gasped when she saw how horrible he looked. He was dangerously thin, his skin a sickly shade of gray and covered in dark bruises. There was fresh blood running down his arm from where he had dug out the tracking chip with his fingernails. 

“Oh my god.” The park ranger knelt down in front of Tony and gently turned him onto his back. Her eyes darted from his face to the arc reactor and back, widening in shock. Even beat up and sickly, Tony Stark was still one of the most recognizable faces on the planet. 

“Mr. Stark? Can you hear me?” 

Tony stared at her for a moment, blinking a few times to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. After so many weeks of not seeing a single other human being who wasn’t a Hydra agent, it was hard to be sure that he was actually looking at a friendly face. But once he convinced himself that she was really there and really not a Hydra agent, he realized he was wasting precious time. 

“Cell phone,” he said, coughing on his words. 

“Excuse me?”

“Your cell phone, I need your cell phone.” 

She nodded and handed him her phone, a reliable old Nokia. Tony wasted no time dialing the only number he still bothered to have memorized. 

  


XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

  


More than 500 miles away, Steve was lying awake on the couch stewing over his fight with Natasha. She had tried to call him at least five times since he had kicked her out a few hours earlier, but he had no interest in talking to her. He didn’t want to hear the words “Tony” and “dead” together in the same sentence ever again. So when his phone started ringing at 2:45 AM, he waited a few rings before he even looked at the screen. When he finally looked, he stared at the words “Unknown Caller” for a few moments, debating whether or not it was just Natasha trying to trick him into talking to her. 

Deciding he’d just hang up if it turned out to be Nat, Steve answered the phone on the final ring. 

“Hello?”

“Steve?” The unmistakable sound of Tony’s voice came through the phone, and if Steve wasn’t already lying down he would have collapsed. He clutched the phone tighter in his hand, his knuckles going white. 

“Oh god, Tony, is that really you?” Steve could barely put the words together, he was too overwhelmed. 

“It’s me, babe.” Tony’s words sent a rush of relief through Steve that was unlike anything he had ever felt. Just a few hours ago he was being told that the love of his life was probably dead, and now he was actually hearing his voice for the first time in weeks. 

“Tony…” was all he managed to say in response.

“Listen, Steve, you have to come find me _now._ I don’t have much time before Hydra finds me again. It could be any minute.”

 Hearing the panic in Tony’s voice made Steve snap back to reality. He jumped off the couch and cursed himself for not getting up sooner. 

“Do you know where you are?” 

“Excellent question,” Tony said. Steve heard a muffled voice as Tony asked the park ranger for the location. “I’m in Baxter State Park. Northern Maine. A mile east of ranger station 12. And I need you to bring my backup arc reactor.”

"Got it. I’m on my way,” Steve said, running down to Tony’s lab to grab the arc reactor. “And Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” 

  
  
_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I originally said this would be 5 chapters but obviously this is not the end! It'll probably end up being 7 chapters, maybe more if there's interest! I'm really enjoying writing this story and I appreciate all your comments and kudos!


	6. Chapter 6

Steve made his way to the Quinjet in record time, his shield in one hand and Tony’s arc reactor in the other. He didn’t bother to suit up, getting to Tony as fast as possible was his only priority. It was hard to believe that this was actually happening. After 47 days without him, he was finally going to see Tony again. The thought of seeing him again, of _holding_ him again, was all the motivation Steve needed to sprint as fast as he could to the jet. 

He had texted Natasha right after he hung up with Tony, nothing but the words “Quinjet. Now.” and hoped that she was still awake to see it. But he’d be leaving with or without her if it meant getting to Tony faster. Luckily, she was waiting for him outside the jet by the time he got there. 

“We need to get to Maine, _now,”_ Steve said, opening the hatch.

“Steve, what the hell is going on?” Natasha asked, climbing into the jet behind him. 

“Tony is alive,” he said, hardly believing the words. 

“What? How do you --”

Steve cut her off. “We need to get to him before Hydra does. Baxter State Park. _Now._ ”

Natasha knew better than to ask any more questions. She hopped into the pilot seat and took off, flying at maximum speed towards Maine. 

 

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 

“Be ready to take off the second I get back.”

“Of course,” said Natasha with a nod, “go get him.”

The jet landed with a soft thud, completely cloaked and invisible among the trees. At top speed it had only taken them half an hour to get there, but Steve feared it was too long.  He jumped out of the hatch and started running, desperately searching for Tony. The forest seemed so dark and empty, Steve started to worry that Hydra had found him first. 

“TONY?” Steve shouted out at the top of his lungs. 

No response. 

“TONY?” He screamed again, a sense of panic and dread setting in. This couldn’t be happening. After all this time, he couldn’t get so close to finding Tony and then have it all be ruined by Hydra at the last minute. This was his last chance and he knew it. Hydra had kept Tony alive this long, but they wouldn’t let him live much longer after his escape. Tony _had_ to be here. 

Steve stopped running and did a 360 degree scan of the forest, determined to spot any clue that could lead him to Tony. He was about to give up and shout out for him again when he finally saw it: a dim, flickering light in the distance. Placing all his hopes onto that one flickering light, Steve ran at full speed towards it. Time seemed to go in slow motion as he approached the light, though his heart was beating faster than he could ever remember. 

After what felt like forever, Steve was finally close enough to see that the flickering light was coming from the arc reactor in Tony’s chest. Tony was on the ground, his limbs at odd angles and his whole body shaking feebly. He looked like hell, but he was there. And he was alive. But there was no time to be relieved, not when Hydra could be at their heels and Tony’s arc reactor was going out. 

“Tony!” Steve exclaimed, falling to his knees next to Tony and cupping his face with one hand. “It’s me, babe, I’m here.”

Tony was mostly unresponsive. His eyes were half open but not focused on anything, and it seemed like he could barely even hear Steve. He needed a new arc reactor immediately. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Tony, I promise.” Steve reached down and twisted the broken arc reactor out of Tony’s chest, wincing as he saw Tony’s body go still and his breathing stop. He inserted the new core as quickly as possible and the light blinked on immediately, but Tony wasn’t responding. He still layed there unmoving and not breathing.

“Come on Tony, _wake up_ ,” Steve said, feeling hot tears fill his eyes as the long seconds continued to pass without any change. He gripped Tony’s hand in his own and held on like his life depended on it. 

After what couldn’t have been longer than 45 seconds but felt more like hours, Tony woke up with a sharp gasp. He looked around wildly, like he had no idea where he was or what was going on. His eyes finally landed on Steve, who looked like he had just witnessed a miracle. 

“S-steve?” Tony said weakly, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Oh my god it’s really you.”

“I’m here, Tony. I’ve got you.” Steve smiled softly and scooped Tony up into his arms. He held him close against his chest and let him rest his head on his shoulder. Steve thought he could stay like this forever, just holding Tony and listening to him breathe. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. 

But the moment was cut short by the sound of a Hydra guard yelling in the distance. There was no time to waste, they had to get back to the quinjet _now_. Steve blinked away his tears and started running towards the jet as fast as he could with Tony in his arms. The Hydra agents could be dealt with later; right now all that mattered was getting Tony the hell out of there. 

Luckily, they didn’t have far to go and they arrived at the quinjet before any of the Hydra agents could find them. Steve clambered awkwardly into the hatch, refusing to put Tony down even for a second. 

“Natasha, go!” Steve yelled as he slammed the hatch closed with one hand. 

Natasha wasted no time getting the jet in the air and out of the reaches of Hydra. Only when they were beyond the forest did Steve finally relax and sit down against the wall, Tony still in his arms. He had been so tense and so afraid of the arc reactor not working or the Hydra agents finding them that he hadn’t been able to fully let himself revel in the fact that Tony was _alive._ The intense relief and joy hit him like a ton of bricks, and he clung onto Tony as tightly as possible as tears began streaming down his face. 

“You’re never leaving me again,” Steve said after a long moment of silence. He pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s head and gently brushed some hair out of his face. “Never.”

“I missed you so much,” Tony said simply, his voice tired and soft. He closed his eyes and let his head fall against Steve’s shoulder. After all he had been through, he just wanted to sleep. 

“It’s okay,” Steve said, resting his own head on top of Tony’s. “You’re safe now. Just rest.”

 

_To be continued._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

When Tony first woke up, he thought he was hallucinating. After all, there was no way he could really be lying comfortably in Steve’s lap, safe and warm and free from the clutches of Hydra. 47 days of captivity would make anyone paranoid. The toxin must have finally made him go crazy, that had to be it. He couldn’t really be with Steve, he must be with a Hydra agent who was about to inject him with another dose of the poison. Panicking at the thought, Tony practically jumped out of Steve’s lap and slid across the floor of the quinjet, realizing in horror that he was too weak to stand. 

“Don’t touch me!” Tony exclaimed, covering the usual injection site on the inside of his elbow with his opposite hand and sliding further away from Steve.

Steve had stood up and was slowly walking towards Tony, but stopped and backed up when he heard his terrified plea. 

“Tony…” Steve said cautiously, “It’s me, babe. It’s Steve. I’m not gonna hurt you.” 

Tony stared at him for a moment, blinking his eyes hard to try to bring himself back to reality. But nothing was happening. Everything still looked real. Steve still looked real. Maybe he wasn’t hallucinating after all…

“Hydra’s not here, Tony. I found you in the forest, remember? You escaped.”

Slowly but surely, the memories started to return. Blasting his arc reactor. Running out into the forest. Getting found by a park ranger -- Tony hoped she made it back to her station okay, he had told her to run as fast as she could. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Hydra got their hands on an innocent civilian because of him. Finally, he remembered Steve. Steve lifting him from the forest floor and carrying him back to the quinjet. Laying against Steve’s chest and feeling at home for the first time in 47 days. He wasn’t surprised that the memories had taken so long to come back to him, Hydra’s toxin was meant to mess with memory. 

“It’s really you?” Tony said, his voice shaky and hoarse. 

“It’s really me,” Steve said, taking slow steps over to him, “I promise.”

Steve sat down next to Tony and put an arm around him, holding him close but gently against his side. Tony relaxed into his touch, letting out a deep breath as the tension in his muscles subsided. Steve was so warm and solid and _familiar_. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel safe after all those days with Hydra. But he hadn’t forgotten the smell of Steve’s hair, or the very specific shade of his eyes, or the way his arms felt when they were wrapped around him. He didn’t think he would have survived for that long if he didn’t have those things to latch onto. Even though he wasn’t there, Steve had still managed to keep Tony grounded. 

It wasn’t long before the quinjet landed at the Avengers’ med bay. Natasha finally got out of the pilot’s seat and walked over to the back of the jet, a huge smile on her face. 

“Steve’s not the only one who missed you, Stark,” she said, taking his hand and helping him to his feet. Tony was so happy to see another familiar face, he wanted to cry when she hugged him with all her might.

“Don’t you ever go disappearing on us again, you got that?” Natasha said before letting go of him. 

“Don’t go live with a bunch of Nazi bastards for six weeks ever again, got it,” Tony said with a snarky grin, leaning against Steve for balance. Steve chuckled and held him up. There was no way Tony was going to let him carry him into the med bay like a baby.

“Come on, let’s get you fixed up,” Steve said, pressing a button to open the hatch. 

Tony hated hospitals. Most of the time, he would do anything to avoid spending even an hour in a hospital bed. He could usually take care of himself, anyway. He didn’t like people doting over him like some injured bird. But he wasn’t about to protest now. The adrenaline had worn off and every inch of his body seemed to be screaming that something was wrong. Leaning heavily on Steve, he limped out of the quinjet and into the medbay, his head held high. 

  


xxx  _One Week Later_ xxx

  


In the dark hours of the night, Steve was sitting up in bed next to Tony, watching him sleep in the soft glow of the arc reactor. Really, he was watching him _breathe_. It had become a bit of a compulsive habit. He often found himself staring at Tony’s chest, watching it rise and fall over and over again. It was the most beautiful sight in the world, and for so long Steve had thought that he was never going to see it again. Sometimes he liked to rest his fingers on Tony’s wrist, just to feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat. He needed the reassurance that this wasn’t all some cruel joke, that Tony was really here with him again after all this time. 

The first few days after they came home hadn’t been easy. The toxin had lingering effects on Tony’s brain, so every time he woke up he seemed to think that he was still at the Hydra base. No matter how many times it happened, it always broke Steve’s heart. Seeing the great Tony Stark so terrified and helpless was a vision he would never be able to erase from his mind. But the doctors mostly had a handle on it now, and Tony’s memory lapses were becoming less and less frequent. 

Steve flicked his eyes from Tony’s chest to the wound in his arm from where he had dug out the tracking chip. It looked like it was healing well. The damage to Tony’s body was manageable, it wasn’t like he had never been injured before. Still, Steve hated seeing the dark bruises on face and the scars on his arms. They were a constant reminder of his failure to protect the most important person in his life. He knew that Tony was more than capable of protecting himself - he had escaped from the Hydra base without any help from Steve, after all - but he couldn’t help but feel immensely protective of the people he loved, it was simply his nature. 

Steve sighed and shifted his weight closer to Tony, going back to counting his breaths. He was so mesmerized by it that he didn’t notice when Tony woke up. 

“Babe. You’re staring at me again,” Tony said in a groggy, amused voice.

Steve just smiled. It was the third time in a row that Tony had woken up without thinking he was back with Hydra. Maybe that part of this whole nightmare was finally over.  

“Sorry,” Steve said, laying his head down on Tony’s bare chest. It was easy enough to stop staring if he could hear his breaths. “I was just making up for lost time. You have no idea how much I missed you.”

Tony started to gently run his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve didn’t realize how much he had missed that feeling, and now it was almost overwhelming. He didn’t try to stop the tears from falling, he knew it would be useless. They fell hot and fast onto Tony’s chest, he just didn’t have the willpower or the energy to stop. They weren’t happy tears or sad tears, really, just tears of the pure intensity of the feeling.

“Hey…” Tony started, his fingers still tracing lines in Steve’s hair, “It’s okay, babe. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve took a long breath to steady himself, letting Tony’s words sink in. He knew that Tony really was there, and that he wasn’t leaving, but some part of him deep down still needed more time to truly believe it. 

“I know. And I’m never letting you leave.” 

Tony laughed, and the soft rumble Steve heard in his chest was his new favorite sound in the world. He made a mental note to make him laugh more often when he had his head on Tony’s chest. 

After a few moments of silence, Steve tilted his head up and kissed Tony. It was long and slow and gentle. The kind of kiss that somehow left you satisfied and still wanting more at the same time. It made Steve feel like everything was really going to be okay, no matter how much shit they had to go through. He wanted to freeze time and live inside the moment forever. They both fell asleep easily after that, Steve enjoying the comfort of Tony’s chest and Tony enjoying Steve’s warmth 

When Steve woke up the next morning, he pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple before getting out of bed to make coffee. He had promised himself that he would never leave without kissing Tony goodbye again, and he fully intended to keep that promise. 

 

_The End_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter. Please let me know what you think in the comments!


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